PattiObjective:
This exercise is designed to help you practice descriptive writing using the five senses and the “show, don’t tell” technique. The goal is to immerse the reader in a scene by creating vivid, sensory-rich descriptions without explicitly stating emotions or actions.
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Scenario:
Imagine your character is walking through a bustling outdoor market in a foreign city. The market is alive with sights, sounds, smells, and textures, from exotic fruits to the buzz of voices speaking different languages. Your character has a specific mission—perhaps they’re searching for something or someone—but they’re also overwhelmed by the sensory overload around them.
Instructions:
1. Set the Scene:
Without telling the reader your character feels overwhelmed, anxious, or excited, **show** how they feel by describing their physical reactions and the environment. Use **all five senses** (sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste) to bring the scene to life.
2. Focus on Details:
Instead of telling us the market is busy or noisy, **describe** the chaos through the movement of the crowd, the clatter of stalls, the hum of voices, and the press of bodies. Show us how your character reacts to these things—do they flinch at a sharp noise? Do they instinctively reach for their wallet when someone brushes past them?
3. Use Specificity:
Don’t simply say “The market had a lot of food.” Instead, describe the vibrant colors of fruits, the gritty feeling of sand on vegetables, or the gleam of knives at the butcher’s stall. What **unique details** can you bring to the market that will immerse the reader?
4. Imply Emotion Through Action:
Avoid telling the reader how your character feels directly (e.g., “They were nervous.”). Instead, show their nerves through the way they hesitate before walking past a vendor or how their eyes dart between stalls. Maybe their hand twitches toward their pocket when they sense someone watching them, or they taste dust in the air as they rush through a crowded alley.
5. Create Atmosphere:
What’s the **overall mood** of the market? Is it joyful, dangerous, mysterious? Reflect this mood in the way you describe the environment. For example, a joyful market might have warm, golden sunlight and laughter ringing through the air, while a more dangerous setting could feature dark, cramped stalls and the distant sound of breaking glass.
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Example:
The air was thick with the scent of roasting meats and sweet, sticky syrup, but beneath it all, a sharp tang of fish clung to the back of her throat. She weaved through the crowd, dodging a vendor balancing a basket of spices, their earthy aroma swirling around her as she passed. Somewhere nearby, a child’s high-pitched laughter cut through the murmur of voices like a bell, and the clatter of pots and pans from a distant stall made her shoulders tense.*
A hand brushed against her elbow, too light to be accidental, and instinctively, she tightened her grip on the small satchel at her waist. Her heart quickened, not from fear, she told herself, but from the heat, the noise, the pressure of too many bodies in too small a space. She scanned the rows of stalls, the blur of bright cloth and shimmering trinkets blending together, her mind racing. But her eyes kept slipping past the faces, none of them familiar, none of them him.*
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Your Turn:
Write a scene of **250-500 words** where your character walks through the market, describing the experience without directly stating their emotions. Focus on showing their feelings through **action, environment, and sensory details.
Happy Writing,
Patti
